Hi Jack,
According to your description, I want to confirm which version of Windows 8 are you using ?
To narrow down the issue, I recommend you run the desktop setup from the portal site (https://portal.microsoftonline.com/download/default.aspx) to see if it works.
1.Sign in to the portal site;
2.Under Set up and configure your Office desktop apps, click Set up.
Thanks,
Eben Liu